wow getting really upset for the littlest thing but wow
w o w
i am in need of angry venting :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
also my little sister has her end of term thingy tomorrow(today)!!! :””3 finishing 2nd year, she’s so cute :””3
i slept all pre noon today until like 1 pm and now i feel human for the first time in a week and i’m like ;~; thank <3
how do you know if you’re disassociating? today’s been like a blur and i’ve pretty much slept through it, keeping track on time is hard, i keep reminding myself it’s wednesday, i forget if i’ve taken my pill even if i know i always take them because i have an alarm, but i forget if it’s been 19.00 yet. i haven’t done things like i usually do and i just feel weird.
mum and her husband’re having a very argumentative discussion about how mum’s being treated here, because we sort of live together with his parents and we own the stables together and the land together, but his parents keep mistreating mum and sort of ignores her expertise, she’s after all a certified horse masseuse and also a centered riding instructor.
still she doesn’t get any respect, the in-laws keep doing things without checking with us since mum owns a 6th of the land, and her husband’s not very good at confrontation
i.e he’s not actively doing anything to to help since it is after all his parents who keep fucking things up
like i had his mum come in at 7.30 all angry and telling me that she wouldn’t move mum’s horses any more, because she’s got them in a different paddock from the other mares
it’s also the smallest one
with no water cup (constant water source you don’t have to refill by hand)
and no wind shelter
like the other paddocks
but it’s only mum’s horses who wont be moved any more
and these in-laws also has ridiculous plans wrt expansion and fixing up the area around here
none of them are actually worth it
like we don’t need a fucking wall between an already existing wall and the stables
we do need a place to putt all the manure so the asshats inspectors who have no idea how farming works can be happy and stop being asshats here
i’m just annoyed at a lot of things and i wish they would stop ok
quick psa: i don’t need to watch some dude from youtube to know what the fuck’s wrong with moffat’s script writing.
daily reminder that i suck at names and could use some help with old medieval like names from europe
i still have random romanian words pop up in my head
like just now înainte (before) smashed into my mind like a golden brick wrapped in a slice of lemon
*swoops in* did u know that ctrl + right arrow key makes you go to the next page if you have endless scroll disabled on your dash? (and ctrl + left arrow key makes you go back)
i just found out yesterday and did some thorough investigation. uwu
finally mum and her husband’s home and i can finally relax and my shoulders are aching like fuck and i feel like i’m about to fall apart, and they didn’t call me to check on me and how i was doing like thanks, i’d like some reassurance you worry about me????
i want to cry now and sleep for days or something and i wish i could write and write and write but all i can do is write journals like this and be sad
ALSO NO ONE PREPARED ME FOR THE VIRGILxDANTE FEELINGS I WOULD GET FROM THE DIVINE COMEDY JFC
THERE ARE KISSES AND HUGS AND HE HOILDS HDIMNM CLOSE AND CARRIES HIM ONFMDGGA IAM DKSOOBBINGB AND CRYING EVERYWHERE OSMDNBJHI MNA??? ?? ?? ??? ?
OVERLY EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS SONG IS2G